If you would have told me that I would make it to 40 weeks of pregnancy, I wouldn't have believed you. I knew without a doubt that this baby would be born before 39 weeks. I mean, why wouldn't she? I never made it that long with the other 6 pregnancies.
On March 16th I counted contractions for over 3 hours. They were every 3-5 minutes apart and lasted about 45 seconds each. In addition to the contractions I felt really sick, like I was going to vomit, and had terrible back pain. I went back and forth on contacting E and letting her know. I didn't feel like I was in active labor but I was concerned enough that I wouldn't make it until the following Thursday when E planned to fly to Austin. I finally broke down and sent her a text.
I didn't plan on going into the hospital that night. I figured I would just let things happen and wait until my doctors appointment on Monday. In the meantime, E booked a flight and flew into Austin.
We went to see midwife L on Monday and found out that we were around 3.5cms dilated. Not in active labor and only a little progress from the week before.
On March 20th I ended up going to Labor and Delivery when my contractions were coming every 7 minutes and lasting about 1 minute. I was concerned because I could feel "leaking" every time I had a contraction and I wanted to make sure it wasn't amniotic fluid. Test came back showing that it wasn't amniotic fluid. Dr. C came up to check on me and the exchange between the two of us left me feeling sad and a bit defeated. She asked me if I wanted something to "just stop all of this" and I told her no. She also ask if I wanted to be admitted and get an epidural... to which I replied no. When I asked her why she even asked me that she told me that she was becoming concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle all of this.
I left there questioning what on earth I had done to make her think such a thing. I also left there 4cms dilated.
Every single day for the next week was torture. I felt awful for pulling E away from her home and family. I also couldn't stop thinking about everything Dr. C had said. I analyzed and over thought every word out of her mouth. I felt sad. I felt worried. I thought that maybe she was right, maybe I wouldn't be able to handle this.
Our last appointment was on March 25th, the day before our scheduled induction, where Dr.C planned to insert a Foley balloon. I planned on talking to Dr. C and telling her how I felt. I had rehearsed it 100 times. When I went back it wasn't Dr. C that was there but midwife L. Dr. C was home sick. I did end up talking to L about what happened Thursday and she laughed saying that Dr. C must have been tired or out of it. I thought, you know... that might be true. Last cervix check and we were sitting at 4.5-5 cms, no Foley balloon needed.
C flew into Austin to be with E for the delivery. We were scheduled to be at the hospital at 7am the next morning.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
38 Week Check Up
I had a visit with Dr. O on Monday. She is the newest doctor at Nurture. I must admit that I do like her a lot.! I wouldn't say she is as... crunchy as Dr. C or Liane but she brings a little something extra to the practice. Knowing that she could very well be on call and there to deliver the baby I went over my past pregnancies and deliveries with her.
Baby girl is measuring big (fundal height). Her butt is right up under my right ribs and her head is down very low. Dr. O was the 2nd in the practice to mention that she feels like a large baby. I just laugh it off but I do wonder, could she really be that big?!? My largest babies were both 7lb 14oz. I wouldn't say they were any more difficult to deliver but I question the difficulty of a baby any larger! I guess we shall see!
Dr. O checked my cervix and I'm sitting at 2.5cm's. Of course that doesn't mean much. I think that is the hardest part of all of this. If she were my baby I could wait and wait and wait. I wouldn't have my cervix checked and I would just go with the flow. She isn't my baby and I want to give C and E as much information as I can. I want them to be able to prepare and make plans to be here. It is just next to impossible.
My next appointment is on Monday, March 17th. My last appointment is on Tuesday, March 25. During the last appointment my cervix will be checked again. I think the plan is to see what progress I have made. If I'm 4cm+ I will just head to the hospital in the morning. If not, they will send me home with a Foley Balloon. Of course I'm hoping that over the next 14 days I will progress and labor on my own.
I think E will head down toward the end of next week, just to play it safe. She doesn't want to miss the birth and I really want her to be there. I know I could use the support. If I end up in labor before she gets here, my BFF has agreed to go with me to cheer me on!
I have been thinking about something that I thought I would share with everyone. I'm confident that I will have a successful VBAC. It has only crossed my mind a few times that things may be a little more complicated because of the cesarian, but I have no doubt with Dr. C's help that we can make it happen. If I really think about it I must admit that I'm a little afraid. Let me see if I can put this into words...
When I gave birth to B's girls I felt like I tried my hardest. I felt like I gave it my all. But looking back I also feel like I gave up too quickly on Baby B. Of course everything turned out great and the cesarian section wasn't horrible but so many what ifs play in my head. The feeling now is that IF the c-section makes a vaginal delivery more complicated, can I handle it? Will I give up quicker? I think it's that feeling of calmness that came over me during the cesarian. It wasn't difficult or painful. I drifted off into a place that was warm and comforting and I thought for a while I could just stay there.
I just have to go in there with all the confidence in the world and give it my all. I know that I won't give up without a fight.
Baby girl is measuring big (fundal height). Her butt is right up under my right ribs and her head is down very low. Dr. O was the 2nd in the practice to mention that she feels like a large baby. I just laugh it off but I do wonder, could she really be that big?!? My largest babies were both 7lb 14oz. I wouldn't say they were any more difficult to deliver but I question the difficulty of a baby any larger! I guess we shall see!
Dr. O checked my cervix and I'm sitting at 2.5cm's. Of course that doesn't mean much. I think that is the hardest part of all of this. If she were my baby I could wait and wait and wait. I wouldn't have my cervix checked and I would just go with the flow. She isn't my baby and I want to give C and E as much information as I can. I want them to be able to prepare and make plans to be here. It is just next to impossible.
My next appointment is on Monday, March 17th. My last appointment is on Tuesday, March 25. During the last appointment my cervix will be checked again. I think the plan is to see what progress I have made. If I'm 4cm+ I will just head to the hospital in the morning. If not, they will send me home with a Foley Balloon. Of course I'm hoping that over the next 14 days I will progress and labor on my own.
I think E will head down toward the end of next week, just to play it safe. She doesn't want to miss the birth and I really want her to be there. I know I could use the support. If I end up in labor before she gets here, my BFF has agreed to go with me to cheer me on!
I have been thinking about something that I thought I would share with everyone. I'm confident that I will have a successful VBAC. It has only crossed my mind a few times that things may be a little more complicated because of the cesarian, but I have no doubt with Dr. C's help that we can make it happen. If I really think about it I must admit that I'm a little afraid. Let me see if I can put this into words...
When I gave birth to B's girls I felt like I tried my hardest. I felt like I gave it my all. But looking back I also feel like I gave up too quickly on Baby B. Of course everything turned out great and the cesarian section wasn't horrible but so many what ifs play in my head. The feeling now is that IF the c-section makes a vaginal delivery more complicated, can I handle it? Will I give up quicker? I think it's that feeling of calmness that came over me during the cesarian. It wasn't difficult or painful. I drifted off into a place that was warm and comforting and I thought for a while I could just stay there.
I just have to go in there with all the confidence in the world and give it my all. I know that I won't give up without a fight.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
33 Week Check Up
It is much easier to write a blog post when you are surrounded by drama and emotions. This surrogate journey hasn't been without both, but things have settled down quite a bit with our return to Texas.
Our most recent appointment was February 11th. It was pretty routine. We chatted a bit about the contractions, pressure, and movement. We checked her heart rate and fundal height. She is head down and everything looks great! Our next appointment is February 28th.
This pregnancy has just flown by so quickly. It is easy to feel great and not complain too much after carrying twins. What a difference it makes. I will say that things are getting a little more difficult now. I haven't gained too much weight but the extra 25lbs is felt all over my body. The pressure from her being head down can be pretty intense, especially with Vulvar varicosities. Wait... I'm pretty sure Vulvar varicosities isn't a hot topic amongst pregnant woman. It doesn't really fit into the leaky breast, vaginal discharge, Braxton Hicks, hemorrhoid conversations.
Please, allow me to shed some light on it. Although not really common (10% of pregnant women get it), it does happen. Think hemorrhoid of the vagina. I like to refer to it as, 'an alien monster that is growing inside my vulva desperate to emerge and take over the world'. Other people will tell you that it is simply varicose veins that become swollen with the weight of the uterus applying pressure to veins in the pelvic region. It can also be caused by the increase of estrogen and progesterone AND is more common in women who have labored previously with extended pushing. I'm guessing I'm over qualified for that last one?!?
So, in addition to the baby alien I'm carrying around, I'm starting to get the classic nightly leg cramps, swollen feet, and leaky breasts. Oh the joy!
One of the biggest things helping me get through all of this is knowing that my body is responding like normal. It is something I worried about after having a cesarian. I would really like to have a VBAC. Baby girl being in position, the Braxton Hicks, and that darn Vulvar varicosities all give me hope that with Dr. C's help, we will be successful!
So, guesses? Baby Girl is due 03/23. Do you think we will make it?
My guess is March 18th.
Our most recent appointment was February 11th. It was pretty routine. We chatted a bit about the contractions, pressure, and movement. We checked her heart rate and fundal height. She is head down and everything looks great! Our next appointment is February 28th.
This pregnancy has just flown by so quickly. It is easy to feel great and not complain too much after carrying twins. What a difference it makes. I will say that things are getting a little more difficult now. I haven't gained too much weight but the extra 25lbs is felt all over my body. The pressure from her being head down can be pretty intense, especially with Vulvar varicosities. Wait... I'm pretty sure Vulvar varicosities isn't a hot topic amongst pregnant woman. It doesn't really fit into the leaky breast, vaginal discharge, Braxton Hicks, hemorrhoid conversations.
Please, allow me to shed some light on it. Although not really common (10% of pregnant women get it), it does happen. Think hemorrhoid of the vagina. I like to refer to it as, 'an alien monster that is growing inside my vulva desperate to emerge and take over the world'. Other people will tell you that it is simply varicose veins that become swollen with the weight of the uterus applying pressure to veins in the pelvic region. It can also be caused by the increase of estrogen and progesterone AND is more common in women who have labored previously with extended pushing. I'm guessing I'm over qualified for that last one?!?
So, in addition to the baby alien I'm carrying around, I'm starting to get the classic nightly leg cramps, swollen feet, and leaky breasts. Oh the joy!
One of the biggest things helping me get through all of this is knowing that my body is responding like normal. It is something I worried about after having a cesarian. I would really like to have a VBAC. Baby girl being in position, the Braxton Hicks, and that darn Vulvar varicosities all give me hope that with Dr. C's help, we will be successful!
So, guesses? Baby Girl is due 03/23. Do you think we will make it?
My guess is March 18th.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
HERSHEY
One of the things I missed most about Texas was the food. We have been back here just shy of 3 weeks and I have caught up on all of our favorite places, except one. I have been saving it for a special day. Today.
E flew in for our 5 month ultrasound appointment and I had her meet me (and Joelie) at Chuy's in Austin. I mean, where else would you take someone visiting Texas?!? I thoroughly enjoyed my chick-a chick-a boom boom but couldn't eat much. It was SPICY.
We had some time to kill before our appointment so I drove E around north Austin. I showed her the hospital we would deliver at and took her out to my house to meet my amazing husband before heading back.
I don't think I can put into words the feelings that came over me being back in the Nurture office. It felt like... home, like I belonged. I swear I could keep having babies just so I could see everyone there on a daily basis!
We filled out some standard paperwork and headed back for the ultrasound. E called C so he could hear what was going on. All three of us were chatting about the gender while the sonographer got started. I was mid sentence telling C he was getting a boy when I caught a glimpse of GIRL PARTS! I couldn't believe it! The sonographer confirmed it is indeed a girl! I wish you guys could have heard the excitement in the room. I will never forget the sound of C's voice! Amazing. Sweet.
The rest of the appointment went great. Baby girl is measuring right on track, 19 weeks-5 days. Everything looks good. We met with Dr. C. ((LOVE HER.)) I think E really liked her as well. She was confident in our ability to have a VBAC! I have no doubt that we can make it happen.
Something really sweet... E and I both ended up with a Dr. Seuss book... one for me to read to the baby and one for E and her son to read together to prepare for the new baby. What a great idea! So fun!
When we were leaving E pulled out a bag with a Hershey bar and two markers, pink and blue. She said her friend gave it to her and told her to color in a pink SHE or blue HE and post a picture for everyone. I watched as the candy wrapper turned pink. So exciting! I decided we had to try one more Austin staple before E headed home. We headed over to Amy's Ice Cream. Guess what was next door?!? Gymboree! Of course we couldn't pass up the opportunity to pick up a couple of dresses! Purple and Pink of course! :)
I took the HERSHEY picture for E to send to friends and family and we enjoyed our Mexican Vanilla ice cream with strawberries. YUM!
What an amazing day! I couldn't be more thrilled to be back in Texas and back in the care of Nurture OB/GYN. I'm so excited for E and C and can't wait to meet their baby GIRL!
E flew in for our 5 month ultrasound appointment and I had her meet me (and Joelie) at Chuy's in Austin. I mean, where else would you take someone visiting Texas?!? I thoroughly enjoyed my chick-a chick-a boom boom but couldn't eat much. It was SPICY.
We had some time to kill before our appointment so I drove E around north Austin. I showed her the hospital we would deliver at and took her out to my house to meet my amazing husband before heading back.
I don't think I can put into words the feelings that came over me being back in the Nurture office. It felt like... home, like I belonged. I swear I could keep having babies just so I could see everyone there on a daily basis!
We filled out some standard paperwork and headed back for the ultrasound. E called C so he could hear what was going on. All three of us were chatting about the gender while the sonographer got started. I was mid sentence telling C he was getting a boy when I caught a glimpse of GIRL PARTS! I couldn't believe it! The sonographer confirmed it is indeed a girl! I wish you guys could have heard the excitement in the room. I will never forget the sound of C's voice! Amazing. Sweet.
The rest of the appointment went great. Baby girl is measuring right on track, 19 weeks-5 days. Everything looks good. We met with Dr. C. ((LOVE HER.)) I think E really liked her as well. She was confident in our ability to have a VBAC! I have no doubt that we can make it happen.
Something really sweet... E and I both ended up with a Dr. Seuss book... one for me to read to the baby and one for E and her son to read together to prepare for the new baby. What a great idea! So fun!
When we were leaving E pulled out a bag with a Hershey bar and two markers, pink and blue. She said her friend gave it to her and told her to color in a pink SHE or blue HE and post a picture for everyone. I watched as the candy wrapper turned pink. So exciting! I decided we had to try one more Austin staple before E headed home. We headed over to Amy's Ice Cream. Guess what was next door?!? Gymboree! Of course we couldn't pass up the opportunity to pick up a couple of dresses! Purple and Pink of course! :)
I took the HERSHEY picture for E to send to friends and family and we enjoyed our Mexican Vanilla ice cream with strawberries. YUM!
What an amazing day! I couldn't be more thrilled to be back in Texas and back in the care of Nurture OB/GYN. I'm so excited for E and C and can't wait to meet their baby GIRL!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
16 Week Update
First of all, I want to apologize for the bitchiness of my post about Dr. S. I should have taken a step back and controlled my raging pregnancy hormones before posting. I'm sorry to anyone that I offended, and for any hurt feelings.
I will admit that I'm not very emotional this pregnancy and instead find that I'm more easily irritated. It's one reason why I'm going to change my guess from girl, to boy. :)
I did have one final appointment here yesterday. After my experience with doctors in New Jersey I went in being thankful for just having to go once. I left there wishing I had scheduled my first appointment with her, instead of Dr. S. She was simply AMAZING! After chit chatting for almost an hour we headed in to do an ultrasound. Can I just say AWWW! I couldn't get over the adorable profile! The baby is measuring 15 weeks and 5 days, which is right on target! We got to hear and see the heartbeat, 136 (did I mention I changed my mind? boy!). I asked Dr. P if she could see a penis. She said no. Hmmmm.
I will admit that I'm not very emotional this pregnancy and instead find that I'm more easily irritated. It's one reason why I'm going to change my guess from girl, to boy. :)
As most of you know by now we are leaving the non-surrogate-friendly-state of New Jersey and are headed back to the surrogate-friendly-state of Texas! I'm thrilled to get back to Nurture OB/GYN and the amazing, supportive staff there! We already have our first appointment scheduled for November 5th. E and her mother are flying in to be there for the anatomy scan. I can't wait!
I did have one final appointment here yesterday. After my experience with doctors in New Jersey I went in being thankful for just having to go once. I left there wishing I had scheduled my first appointment with her, instead of Dr. S. She was simply AMAZING! After chit chatting for almost an hour we headed in to do an ultrasound. Can I just say AWWW! I couldn't get over the adorable profile! The baby is measuring 15 weeks and 5 days, which is right on target! We got to hear and see the heartbeat, 136 (did I mention I changed my mind? boy!). I asked Dr. P if she could see a penis. She said no. Hmmmm.
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| Profile |
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| Heartbeat |
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| A little something E sent to me! I love care packages! She is the sweetest!!! |
Friday, September 20, 2013
Drugs. Illness. Aversions. Cravings.
12 weeks and 5 days pregnant today and I'm counting down the days until the second trimester begins. No really, I have a countdown on my phone. Although I'm trilled to be done with the estrogen and progesterone, stopping them didn't offer any relief from the sickness I have been feeling. :( It seems to hit me the same time everyday, around 4pm. I pick up all the kids from school and end up in bed for 1 hour. I hate it. I'm sure the kids do too.
I have had some major aversions this go round. Soda. Coffee. Ketchup. Doritos. Eggs. Corn. Grease. Peanut Butter. The list goes on and on. For those of you that know me well, you know that a coffee aversion is painful for me. I love my daily coffee. My BFF sent me some coffee from Canada a few weeks ago and it has been sitting untouched. I'm happy to report that this week I actually cracked a box opened and thoroughly enjoyed a steamy cup of Joe! Yum!
I don't have any fun cravings to share. At least they don't seem fun to me! I love lemonade, orange juice, veggies, Slurpees and sweets. I was on a Cheerios and Frosted Flakes kick, but that seems to have died down a bit now. I'm hoping that once the aversions die down I can focus on being a little more disciplined and eat things a little more healthy! Just say no to the Twix and Starburst... maybe the Slurpees too.
The good news is that I haven't gained any weight yet. The bad news is that I'm sure that will change when my appetite comes back.
Did I already mention that think this baby is a girl? My hair is ugly and dull. My face is breaking out and dry. These things added to the heartbeat, always feeling sick and sweet cravings... scream girl. Of course, I have been known to be wrong. B totally didn't end up with a boy and girl. Guess we will see!
I have had some major aversions this go round. Soda. Coffee. Ketchup. Doritos. Eggs. Corn. Grease. Peanut Butter. The list goes on and on. For those of you that know me well, you know that a coffee aversion is painful for me. I love my daily coffee. My BFF sent me some coffee from Canada a few weeks ago and it has been sitting untouched. I'm happy to report that this week I actually cracked a box opened and thoroughly enjoyed a steamy cup of Joe! Yum!
I don't have any fun cravings to share. At least they don't seem fun to me! I love lemonade, orange juice, veggies, Slurpees and sweets. I was on a Cheerios and Frosted Flakes kick, but that seems to have died down a bit now. I'm hoping that once the aversions die down I can focus on being a little more disciplined and eat things a little more healthy! Just say no to the Twix and Starburst... maybe the Slurpees too.
The good news is that I haven't gained any weight yet. The bad news is that I'm sure that will change when my appetite comes back.
Did I already mention that think this baby is a girl? My hair is ugly and dull. My face is breaking out and dry. These things added to the heartbeat, always feeling sick and sweet cravings... scream girl. Of course, I have been known to be wrong. B totally didn't end up with a boy and girl. Guess we will see!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
12 Week Update (cont.)
I knew after our first visit that Dr. S had never worked with an gestational surrogate let alone an IVF patient before. I thought I would be able to hang with him and help him learn along the way, but the longer I looked at the order they sent home with me the more I realized that I couldn't do this. The entire pregnancy I would be treated as high risk because I'm 35, but mainly because he doesn't know any better. Our due date would always be a week off because he didn't understand how the transfer date established the due date. Outside of that he doesn't perform any scans or blood work in office and I would have to travel 2 hours round trip to have them done. The icing on top was hearing that Joelie could not accompany me to the clinic to have the scan, but if I had to bring her she could wait with the ladies in the reception area. Not something I wanted to do. So, I called Monday and cancelled my appointments. I let E know that I wouldn't be returning to Dr. S and that we needed to search for a new doctor that was familiar with IVF, and closer to home. I asked a local moms group for advice and started a list to send to E.
Of course it was no surprise that Dr. S called C and that C called me. I answered that phone call knowing what was coming and I was PISSED. I felt like a damn child. These two doctors thought they would get together and chat about the crazy, over aged, high risk pregnant lady that didn't show up to her appointment. I listened as C told me he had my back and in the same breath talked about how amazing Dr. S was, based on his research. C understood my not wanting to go back but 'suggested' that I reconsider. I listened. I bet anyone having a conversation with C would be able to tell he's a doctor. He is good at what he does. He has great communication skills and is really good at being positive in is responses. Only, it wasn't working on me. I left the conversation the same way I came into it, PISSED.
Let me just throw something out there for those of you that may not know. Gestational Carriers are used up until age 42, with most companies. It's understood that maternal age has nothing to do with the development and risks of a baby that doesn't biologically belong to the carrier. Being treated as high risk and having extra testing done is not only unnecessary it can also be costly when insurance doesn't cover the tests. I'm familiar enough with the ins and outs of surrogacy to know what rights I have and to be able to make decisions that are best for me and the baby. While C and Dr. S are probably very talented at what they do, it doesn't make them specialist is surrogacy and decisions that effect me personally.
Working with IP's is a give and take relationship. While it's their baby, it's my body and I want to work with a doctor that I can completely trust. That wasn't going to happen with Dr. S and I decided to move on. For me, it wasn't about how great C thought he was, or how his apologizing spoke volumes. It was about my confidence and comfort level, which with him, were non existent.
E and I went through the list of doctors that we had and narrowed them down by hospital affiliation pretty quickly. We ended up with two options. One is a practice of 3 doctors that share with an additional practice. E wasn't comfortable with so many doctors so we ended up with the other one, a doctor in the same building as the fertility center here in New Jersey. I planned to call and schedule and appointment today but was pretty busy with my own family and didn't get a chance. So I will call tomorrow.
I will leave with this. Right now I'm not feeling too happy about being in this situation. What started out as exciting and fun has now turned into complicated and draining. I'm living in a state that isn't surrogate friendly, searching for a doctor that is familiar with surrogacy while trying to do my best to make E and C happy. Today E sent me a text asking if I made an appointment with the new doctor and if I had called Dr. S. Followed by a text that said C thinks I should call Dr. S and talk to him. I thought, what have I gotten myself into? Back the f off of me! I need a break! -pregnancy hormones at their finest.
I don't know what will happen with this new doctor but at least she is closer to home and the scans are done next door. Maybe she too will decide to treat me as high risk? I guess if she does I will just accept defeat and go along for the ride. At this point, I don't care.
Of course it was no surprise that Dr. S called C and that C called me. I answered that phone call knowing what was coming and I was PISSED. I felt like a damn child. These two doctors thought they would get together and chat about the crazy, over aged, high risk pregnant lady that didn't show up to her appointment. I listened as C told me he had my back and in the same breath talked about how amazing Dr. S was, based on his research. C understood my not wanting to go back but 'suggested' that I reconsider. I listened. I bet anyone having a conversation with C would be able to tell he's a doctor. He is good at what he does. He has great communication skills and is really good at being positive in is responses. Only, it wasn't working on me. I left the conversation the same way I came into it, PISSED.
Let me just throw something out there for those of you that may not know. Gestational Carriers are used up until age 42, with most companies. It's understood that maternal age has nothing to do with the development and risks of a baby that doesn't biologically belong to the carrier. Being treated as high risk and having extra testing done is not only unnecessary it can also be costly when insurance doesn't cover the tests. I'm familiar enough with the ins and outs of surrogacy to know what rights I have and to be able to make decisions that are best for me and the baby. While C and Dr. S are probably very talented at what they do, it doesn't make them specialist is surrogacy and decisions that effect me personally.
Working with IP's is a give and take relationship. While it's their baby, it's my body and I want to work with a doctor that I can completely trust. That wasn't going to happen with Dr. S and I decided to move on. For me, it wasn't about how great C thought he was, or how his apologizing spoke volumes. It was about my confidence and comfort level, which with him, were non existent.
E and I went through the list of doctors that we had and narrowed them down by hospital affiliation pretty quickly. We ended up with two options. One is a practice of 3 doctors that share with an additional practice. E wasn't comfortable with so many doctors so we ended up with the other one, a doctor in the same building as the fertility center here in New Jersey. I planned to call and schedule and appointment today but was pretty busy with my own family and didn't get a chance. So I will call tomorrow.
I will leave with this. Right now I'm not feeling too happy about being in this situation. What started out as exciting and fun has now turned into complicated and draining. I'm living in a state that isn't surrogate friendly, searching for a doctor that is familiar with surrogacy while trying to do my best to make E and C happy. Today E sent me a text asking if I made an appointment with the new doctor and if I had called Dr. S. Followed by a text that said C thinks I should call Dr. S and talk to him. I thought, what have I gotten myself into? Back the f off of me! I need a break! -pregnancy hormones at their finest.
I don't know what will happen with this new doctor but at least she is closer to home and the scans are done next door. Maybe she too will decide to treat me as high risk? I guess if she does I will just accept defeat and go along for the ride. At this point, I don't care.
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